Often, we are so stuck in our old beliefs and patterns
that we aren't able to see the changes we need to make. Even when we feel
frustrated about our problems, we may not recognize what we need to learn to
change things. That is why we need to use the mirror of life.
Everything in our lives reflects where we are in the
process of developing integration and balance. We can use everything that
happens externally as a mirror to help us see the areas within us that need
healing and development. Whenever we have a problem, especially a recurring or
chronic problem, it is always an arrow pointing directly to some aspect of our
psyche where we need more awareness.
If we accept that life is always trying to teach us
exactly what we need to learn, we can view everything that happens to us as a
gift. Even experiences that are uncomfortable or painful contain within them an
important key to our healing, wholeness, and prosperity.
We may have difficulty
understanding what the mirror of life is trying to show us, but if we sincerely
ask for the learning and the gift in every experience, it will be revealed to
us one way or another.
One of the clearest
reflections we have to work with is the one provided by our relationships.
Everyone we attract into our life is a mirror for us in certain ways. All of
our relationships -- our families, children, friends, co-workers, neighbors,
pets, as well as our romantic partners -- reflect certain parts of us. How we
feel with someone is usually an indication of how we feel about the parts of us
that they mirror.
We all attract certain
people into our life who have developed qualities opposite to the ones we are
most identified with. In other words, they mirror our disowned selves, and we
mirror theirs. These are often the most highly emotionally charged
relationships. We either love them, hate them, or both! We feel very attracted
to them, and/or very uncomfortable, judgmental, annoyed, or frustrated with
them. The stronger the feelings, the more important a mirror they are for us.
We have drawn them into our reality to show us something about what we need to
develop in ourselves. The fact that we have such strong feelings (one way or
another) toward them means that they are showing us a part of ourselves we need
to acknowledge, accept, and integrate.
This does not mean we have
to be with them or hold onto a harmful or inappropriate relationship. It just
means that as long as they are in our lives, or even in our thoughts and
feelings, we can use the relationship as a learning experience. It also does
not mean we are supposed to become like them. They may carry an energy we need
more of, but they may be too far to the opposite extreme, or they may express
that energy in a distorted way.
Still, we can look for the
positive essence in the opposite qualities they carry. For example, if you have
been taught never to express any anger, you will probably at some point find
yourself in relationship with a person who expresses their anger frequently and
vehemently. Life is giving you a strong message that it's time for you to learn
to acknowledge your own anger. It is not saying you have to become like this
person and go around dumping your anger everywhere. Instead, you need to find
the appropriate balance, learning how to assert yourself and stand up for
yourself.
If you have strongly
developed being energy but have difficulty taking action, you may find that
someone important in your life is a compulsive doer who can't relax. Naturally,
you don't want to go to that extreme, but this person is your teacher, to show
you the energy of action that you need to develop. Of course, you are a teacher
for them, as well, but it usually doesn't work very well to try to show the
other person what they need to learn from you -- although we all succumb to this
temptation. It works much better to concentrate on what we need to learn in the
situation. Once we use the mirror to understand what we need, and actually do
the work to develop a disowned self, the whole pattern of the relationship will
shift.
If we are strongly
identified with power, we will attract vulnerable, needy people. This mirror is
reflecting our need to recognize and accept our own vulnerability. If and when
we do that, the needy people in our lives will either become more empowered, or
will move out of our lives. If we are overly vulnerable and disown power, we
will find ourselves in a relationship with someone who uses power one way or
another. We will feel overwhelmed, controlled, or victimized by them until we
own our power, at which point the relationship will either dissolve or become
more equal.
We often seem to gravitate
toward a romantic or business partner who has an opposite approach to financial
management. If the difference is not too extreme, this can be a complementary
and harmonious balance in which we appreciate and learn from each other's
strengths. If we are highly polarized, however, it can be painful and
frustrating, leading to a great deal of conflict and stress.
Still, it is a gift -- an
opportunity to recognize how identified we are with one polarity and a chance
to develop the opposite energy we need. Like any relationship issue, it
requires that we communicate with one another, and be willing to listen and
empathize with each other's feelings and perspective.
The topic of relationships
is a complex and fascinating subject. Still, if you grasp the basic idea of how
our relationships show us the next steps we need to take in our personal
growth, you can begin to use your relationships as powerful guides on your path
to true prosperity.
___________
Written by: S. Gawain
Shared by: Swiss Wenger
Email: swisswenger09@gmail.com
URL: http://makingsenseofeverything.blogspot.com/
